So You Think You're A Psychic?
by He will knock four times
Summary: It was a matter of pride and Sensibilities. In the end he had to choose one of them. Oneshot. No shassie.


It was an age old trap. Words and pride. It was an eight year old argument. Lassiter hadn't realized it but he had trapped himself between his sensibilities and his pride the moment he has said 'you are not a psychic' to Shawn. Shawn had known this for the longest time but apparently hadn't capitalized on it. At least he hadn't till just now. Lassiter was about to get a dose of logic from Shawn, one of the last things he expected to get from the younger man. Lassiter was also quickly reaching his limit.

"Saaaaaayyy it." The ineffable grin never faded once.

"No." He gritted out between his teeth.

"Oh come on! Say it!"

"Spencer I will discharge my weapon into your skull and then in mine before I ever admit you are a psychic." He glared. It was almost unnerving how pleased and smug Shawn still looked despite the death threat.

"Ahhh, but we would be together and then you could still saaaayyyy iiittt." He ended with a singsong tone.

"No." He snapped, wondering if he could get away with punching him. Chief Vic knew it was bound to happen eventually. Certainly all he had put up with would allow him this one small pleasure. She knew how trying Spencer could be. He kept himself in check though. He was at his desk at work when he had been accosted by Spencer.

"Oh come on Lassie! Don't be the two person Mexican standoff."

"Spencer that doesn't even make sense mathematically. And never."

"So then you're admitting it?" He looked even more gleeful, if possible.

"I just said I wasn't!" He snapped louder, drawing a few eyes. Before everyone looked away. It wasn't anything new. Everyone knew that he could not tolerate Spencer. They also knew that Spencer lived to bug him.

"Oh no! Not that! I mean, your are admitting I would make a better detective than you!"

Lassiter froze. The jump in logic was unnerving to him. It didn't make sense. Nothing about Shawn ever made sense. He almost lived to show chaos and confusion. His pride rebelled at the idea. He had worked hard to get here. He was a good detective. Respectable. Shawn was a clown who had had one brief weekend at the police academy. He had been horrible and the disaster that followed was something chief Vick had forced Shawn to attend in the first place. _Shawn_? Better than _him_? As a _detective_?!

"Listen closely Spencer." He put in his lowest haughty tone possible. "I am not saying you would make a better detective than me. I am not thinking you would make a better detective than me. I do not believe you could make a better detective than me. In fact it is impossible for you to become a detective let alone be better than me. You could not possibly ever do that well."

"So you admit I'm a psychic." Shawn persisted and the backtrack in arguments confused Lassiter, disarming him.

"What ridiculous garbage are you spewing Spencer?!"

In a very matter-of-fact way Shawn explained his reasoning. "Well you see Lassie, if I'm not a better deductive reasoner than you, then I must be Psychic. How else could I have done so well to solve this many cases? Unless... you're saying I'm not psychic?"

The logic blew him away as Carlton realized the catch 22 he found himself in. There was no way Shawn was psychic. Psychics did not exists. Which mean saying Shawn was a better reasoner than _him_, Carlton Lassiter. But Shawn could not possibly be a better detective than him, which meant that Shawn had to be Psychic. BUT psychics did not e- Trapped Lassiter clenched his fists, realizing the circular argument that could go all night. Pride... or sensibilities... Either way Lassiter would have to make a concession.

He had seen Shawn Spencer walk onto a fresh crime scene that in no way the younger man could have previously had time to examine and announce with certainty that a dinosaur had killed their victim. Shawn had claimed that an extinct prehistoric creature living millions of years ago had killed a man that had been alive less than two days before. And he had been right. Granted it was only a fake mold of one but he had been right. Dammit. Because either it was nonsensical visions and Shawn's skill was not of his own making but some sixth sense... If he was a psychic then these abilities were not from hard work or merit. It it wasn't from hard work or merit then Shawn was not better than Lassiter. Merely psychic.

Or... Shawn was possibly the most brilliant observer and reasoner the Santa Barbara police department had ever had. Shawn had never been to any academy for these skills, barely had a high school diploma and he was faster and better than anyone Lassiter knew in coming up with these deductions, himself included. He paled at the idea of telling Shawn that. Not only did his pride rebel against it but Spencer would never let him hear the end of it. Pride or sensibilities? If he said nothing in order to retain both then Shawn would never leave him alone, even more than usual.

"What was that Lassie? I couldn't hear you on the account of me being right." He smugly leaned forward and extended his hand to his turned ear. For a moment Lassiter wondered if he could get away with murder. He had contemplated the perfect murder before, certain he could accomplish it. Maybe the little bastards father, Henry, wouldn't figure out that it had been him. But he discounted it. Henry Spencer was a fine detective and was the only one who might actually frighten him.

Opening his mouth Carlton spit out the less humiliating of the two options. He ground them out one by one, making sure not one person was close by enough to see him loose or give testimony to his admission.

"Fine. Spencer. Fine. You. Win. You. are. psychic."

His eyes widened in awe as if he had never expected to hear these words. Not from Lassiter. Until today, Lassiter was certain Spencer never would. But it was this or admit that Shawn was better than him. Shawn closed his eyes with the most rapturously please expression and tilted his head back like he had just had sex. He even moaned slightly for dramatic effect. "Ohhhhh! Yeeessss... Yessssssss... Say it again Lassie. Say it again!"

Carlton wasn't exactly certain what happened next. All he knew was that his fist suddenly ached, Shawn was on the floor with a bloodied nose and everyone in the police precinct was staring at him.

He saw Vic staring before she was pointing and shouting at him. Mcnab came up to him looking nervous and apologetic with a pair of hand cuffs. Lassiter didn't resist as he held out his wrists. His satisfaction was so complete as he was led down the stairs to lock up. It probably wouldn't help him later with the chief that he couldn't stop smiling. As the doors closed all he could say was:

"Worth it."

xxx

Ok, so I thought this up a few days ago and it wouldn't leave me alone. It's something I can't believe Shawn has not realized. Knowing him he would have used this argument to force Lassiter to say he is psychic. Lassie is too proud to admit to anything else. I know in the astornamy case, Carlton is so shit blind drunk that he admits to Shawn that Shawn is a better reasoner. He says that Shawn isn't psychic. which means the opposite to be true. But I also know that without being drunk enough to do so, Lassiter will never admit that Shawn is better at deduction than him. But he refuses to believe Shawn is psychic after eight years. Quite the little catch 22. I like psych but I think I like reading psychfics better than I like writing them, I don't think ill been writing another one.


End file.
